I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
