I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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