I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
