Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
