Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
