Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
