ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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