i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
