they need to just BURY HIM!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
