Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
