just come out here and I will go home with you...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
