rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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