Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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