last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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