How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
