I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
