i barfeds in our rink
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
