There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
