people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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