need another drink. this is the easiest way
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
