tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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