We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
