dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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