he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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