Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
