It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
