google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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