saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
