dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize