I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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