I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
