you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize