I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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