he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
