so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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