Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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