you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
