i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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