Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize