Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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