Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
