I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
