ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
