She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
