With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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