You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Alive.
So much puke
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
