Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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