Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
