I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
