Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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