I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She said her name was "party"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
