physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
