i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
sex in a hospital.. check
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
