margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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