At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
