I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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