ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
