things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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