youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize