I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
