Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
