Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
