Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
