No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
