The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
