Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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