Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
