you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize