Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
