there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
